My Saga

I was asked to write my story... how far back do I go? Do I go back to the time my very religious father disillusioned me with religion? 

Do I go back to waiting in the back seat of my moms car for her to leave the bar? 

Nothing about “the real world” ever made sense to me.  

My mother was a spiritual activist gypsy; my father a hard core Christian who desired a perfect credit score, a nice house, etc, and threw me out at age 15, when I wouldn’t let my stepmom put my perfect 80’s hair in hot rollers 😂🤷‍♀️

I never ever understood why the world worked the way it worked, except I always knew it wasn’t quite right. 

I was always talking about [they]... 

[they] lied about the JFK assassination I’d tell my grandma... who is [they] she always asked. I didn’t know but I could feel it. 

I was always fascinated by the paranormal and anything that wasn’t mainstream. I searched many religions and philosophers trying to find a “truth”.  

Fast forward to now. I still don’t have answers. I know I do not know. I have had a great many theories along the way. 

I chose to be a stay at home mom to my children, even though it was tough. We didn’t strive for wealth. We strived for a simple home life.  Teaching gardening, and simple ways. 

I had my daughter’s later in life. My husband is almost 10 years older than me. 

We stayed afloat. Him a Carpenter and part-time stage hand... me being my frugal creative self to make ends meet. 

In December of 2018, my husband realized he’d landed his dream job... we could finally escape the decaying rental we had made our home for 8 years. 

On January 28, 2019... after playing a very hard escape board game that was my birthday present (that we still joke caused it); my husband had a massive heart attack. We live in such a rural area that if I had waited for the ambulance he’d be dead. I scooped up my girls ( this was about 4:30 am) and we rushed to the hospital. He wouldn’t let us stay. After 30 minutes of him sitting in the waiting room a janitor alerted the nurses again a man was having a heart attack. They immediately got the ambulance there and rushed him to a bigger hospital on the next state.  They put a stint in... prescribed medicine... he went home 2 days later with a 2 month battle of getting the meds right and 3 months of rehab.

Once returning to work, he was told he was no longer needed. I started applying for jobs and took the first one that hired me. 

We survived for a few months off my paycheck and his income tax return. 

He had sporadic work off and on from there. My $200/week kept our noses barely above water. 

My sister in law asked if wanted to purchase a second vehicle from her. I jumped on it. 

Someone turned the property we rent in for an overgrown lawn and the big tree that was struck by lightning over 3 years ago that destroyed the adjoining property’s garage. Even though we were current on Rent our landlord threatened us with eviction if we didn’t remove the tree and debris. We spent our electric bill $ on a chainsaw and my husband spent 2 days trying to tackle this tree. He ended up severely herniating 3 discs in his back that causes nerve damage to his sciatica.  While I continued to work, our 8 year old was helping Daddy to the bathroom and taking care of the house with me. 

Basically... we got so far behind, we couldn’t catch up, even though he is back to work, and I’m still working what hours I can.  

Being evicted from here could be a blessing in disguise, I realize that. There is mold growing upstairs, floors are falling in, not one appliance works right... but we have no where else to go but our car. See I had started setting up a GoFundMe asking for a leg up to purchase my sister in law’s vehicle so I could get a 2nd job

and our work schedules wouldn’t conflict so much. We finally found an amazing babysitter for the girls if need be... both mine and his family live too far away to help with that.  

We had to let our cell service go, and chose to keep internet on because it was cheeper as a way to still communicate with work, etc.  

Let me back up a bit. 

Our neighborhood recently went from well water (that we didn’t have to pay for) to county water. We had a HUGE water leak coming from a couple spigots attached to our house.  Our landlords got to use our low income to avoid paying a high price to hook up to the new water, but we had to immediately replace the spigots so our personal water bill wouldn’t be through the roof. We were told they’d take $100 off our rent when we gave them the receipts. When I pointed out last weekend, when we FINALLY got caught up on rent, that $100 hadn’t been deducted...I mentioned it. they got mad, and gave us 8 days to come up with another months rent of $550.  My car payment of $220 was due 11/14 and our car insurance was due a week before that. (Car insurance is paid as of today) my check this week just covered it. Hubby is waiting on shingles to be delivered to start Construction work, (and has been for a week)but does have a stage hand job tomorrow. They (our landlords) KNEW his stage hand work only pays every 2 weeks (next Friday) 

  

So that’s my story... that’s where I am. No family that can help. The ones I’ve asked (like my dad) have their own problems (like loosing their Florida gated community home since my stepmom just got fired from her job) BUT Like every single one of us on the planet... we ALL struggle due to the evil powers that be... some of you played the game... used your talents... got degrees..whatever. I couldn’t stomach it at a young age, and can barely stomach it now... wealth over love.. it’s Not What Christ taught!!! it’s why I never could get past my college courses or sociology, religion, and philosophy. I chose not to play the game.... although I have no choice now. And I will work my ass off because now I see the Great Awakening I tried so desperately my WHOLE life to get others to see... 

Midnight Is Naked

Naked is the soul

Teetering;

Loosing balance

From darkness

Searching upward

Longing

For Moonlight.

Starlight dew

Reaches

Recharges

Observers so free;

A glimpse of Heaven, once again.

A captain at sea.

Wet salt pours 

From wounds

Light years away

Dampening 

Softness

Shy of painful

Lost dreams

Pouring to wet the velvet.

Absent body

Absent mind

Bearing all.

Release

Supernovas shatter

Chains of the 

Eye.

Touch

Feel

The blurred Pane

Cleansed by this

Rain.

Never

Once?

Wind caresses the bare soul.

A glimpse of Heaven;

Anew Again.

Tree Love

Another wonderful blog post from my friend CaptRon52, as if I didn't need another reason to love trees more, he always seems to provide me with new perspectives and insights into myself. Enjoy!

  "MAN, I LOVE THESE TWO TREES"

I've written before about one of the two Bradford pear trees which sit in my front lawn. The one that was damaged by an ice storm in 2009 I think it was. Now it remains a little bent but also tall and strong as ever. At the moment I'm sitting on the front porch watching a thunderstorm in the making. As the winds pick up and blow harder and harder I silently watch these two trees dance with whatever life happens to throw at them.And after each storm passes both trees continue to be true to what they are. Which is a perfect expression of just Being. After this storm today I'm sure tomorrow will be a hot and humid day here in Paducah Kentucky. But I'm sure these two trees will stand tall and just bask in whatever life throws their way. And even if one day,a storm manages to seemingly destroy one or both of these trees they have taught me well. Just love the moment, no matter what life is handing you. Be strong and take tomorrow for what it may be. In this so called reality there really is no such thing as tomorrow anyway. Just proudly be who you are and let your LIGHT brightly shine. Be good to yourself and even better to others. For they are you as you are them. Love, Peace, and Blessings to all of you wonderful folks.

An Old Watering Can, Solar Lights, & A Watering Globe Walk into A Room

No, it's not a lame attempt at a joke. I've had this old watering can laying around for ages. The spout had actually fallen off, and I was so happy when I found it again, because I had IDEAS....

I, along with my mom, (we joke it's genetic) have a borderline obsession with solar lights. This particular strand had once wrapped around a tree as Yule decor, but one of my cats actually broke the wire sharpening his claws. I was pleasantly surprised to find the remaining strand attached to the solar charger still worked. Of course, I didn't toss them even though they were too short for any spectacular decoration use...Until the watering globe walked into my life.

I cut a wire coat hanger to the length I wanted, and inserted it into the spout of the watering can. 

I then pushed the string of lights through the top of the watering can, out the spout, and into the watering globe, then wrapped the remaining around the wire hanger. 

Using 'Seal All'
 (you can find it here-> https://amzn.to/2JqqPcp)

I glued the wire, light strand and watering globe together:

It took a few tries to get the adhesive around all parts so it would stay. I even put some down into the globe. 

 I positioned the finished watering can solar light inside a log that was a natural tripod turned upside down. 

I just love how the lights 'pour' out of the watering can and reflect off the rocks and water. 

*Note: This post contains affiliate links and I may earn a small commission when you purchase through my links. 

~@moondropmusings2018

Vodcast Muse Episode#001

Exciting day today! Not only is it Star Wars Day, it's the premiere of Vodcast Muse.  Episode #001-"The God Concept & the Ego"  

Enjoy the Muse!

               

A short Mini version is also available on @MoondropMusings on Facebook. 

Warning! Inspiration may be Contagious

My good friend Ronnie (aka Captron52) sent me a message the other day, saying how the two of us working together over the past couple of weeks has inspired him to get back to writing in his blog. 

Awesomeness! He has so many wonderfully insightful and inspirational stories. 

He shared his latest post with me, and now I share it with you.  Enjoy musing!

Image credit: Kristin Stetz

THE OCEAN IS ORANGE

SUNDAY, APRIL 29, 2018

There once was two men and a lady friend of theirs who were taking a stroll down by the ocean. As they silently walked along the white sandy beach each of them were filled with a sense of peace and even awe at the majestic ocean that stretched out before them. As they stopped to rest one of the men stated, "Isn't the ocean just so beautiful with the blue water that it contains?" "Yes, it is beautiful" stated the other fellow, "but the water is not blue, it is green." The woman chimed in with " I agree that this ocean is so beautiful but both of you are wrong, the water is actually aqua marine colored!" 

As the three of them continued their debate as to what color the water actually was, an old blind man happened upon the argument. As he stopped and listened to the debate he just smiled to himself and then introduced himself to his new "friends" he had just met. "Please pardon my intrusion into your friendly debate as to what color the ocean is. Would you folks care to hear my opinion?" After being warmly greeted and told that they would love to hear what he had to say the old blind man stated, "This ocean is orange." His 3 new friends chuckled and thought he was just trying to be funny. "Why would you say that", they inquired of him, and then the old man began his story. 

"Well, it's like this, a long time ago I was where you are now. I carried my perceptions of things high up in my mind thinking I really knew what I was talking about. If I saw something that seemed so true to me then I would be quick to argue my point and try to disprove anyone else's point of view. I was just so convinced that I was "right" about things and others were oft times wrong if they did not see things as I perceived them. But then everything changed. Literally overnight! I totally lost my eyesight. I was a young man who could no longer "see". I was at first in deep despair and could not figure out why my eyesight had been taken from me. But after accepting things as they were I began to realize that even though I was now "blind" I could still learn to really "SEE". "I won't go into all the details of my journey but I will tell you why I say the ocean is orange. 

You see, before I "lost" my eyesight orange was my favorite color. I never was sure why but I just loved orange! So now, as I stand here on this warm sandy beach looking out over this majestic ocean I see it filled with vibrant orange colors. That is why I say the ocean is orange! "But after all, does the color really matter? You see green, you see blue, you see Aqua, I see orange, so what? You know that really doesn't change the ocean one bit. It is all only our own particular perception of color and color is only an illusion. A bending of light in some way I will never fully understand!" 

The other 3 listened intently to this old blind man as he spoke and then decided he was probably right. It didn't really matter that they had different opinions as to the waters color. They could instead just enjoy their perception, their beauty of the ocean, while at the same time allowing others to do the same even if the perceptions were different. 

Just imagine a world where everyone could be free to express their "Truth" without having to defend it, or to convince anyone else of it's merits. 

Back to the characters in this little story, which one would you care to say is "right" or "wrong"?

Personally I'd have to say all of them are right! So I leave you with hopes that you can and will color your "oceans" of life any damned color you wish too! And as you do, please try to remember to allow everyone else to do the same. 

There is plenty of room for all "Truths" and a blank canvas for us to use to color our world as we see fit. Be good to yourself and even better to others my friends. I leave you with thoughts of love, peace, and oneness for all.

~POSTED BY CAPTRON52

Finding my Fairie Feet

I feel that before I proceed any further with this blog, I should explain what I mean by 'Fairie Steps'.

Months ago, when I had decided once and for all that I was going to get this chaos of a house purged, organized and cleaned, I realized it would have to be done in very small stages. One small area at a time.

I started calling it baby steps. I would baby step a wall or a corner or a dresser. I soon realized I'd need to take even smaller steps. So, of course, I thought FAIRIES!

Fairies are thought to be quite helpful little creatures. And since I often try reinforce magical wonder in the girls, I often reassure them that faries are real. So what better way to re-label my baby step method by asking the Fairies for help, creating a magical experience, and allowing myself to take the smallest of steps? After all, fairies obviously take much smaller steps. Thus, I am 'Fairie Stepping' through life.